To Err Is Human
By seven in the morning, I was in the hospital on five hits of morphine. I was floating in and out of consciousness, barely aware of my best friend Wendy holding my hand tightly as I moved through one of the craziest highs I’ve ever experienced. During moments of consciousness, I would try to focus on Wendy and explain to her that I felt as if I wasn’t breathing. I felt as if everything in my body had slowed down so completely that my lungs seemed to be made out of sticky glue, as if each breath was like pulling apart wet cloth.
My last couple of columns were so depressing. Each time I had to sit down and write for Sluggy, I was in a dark place where it felt appropriate and necessary to pour out the excess of my overwhelming sadness. I felt lost, as if I was wandering with no sense of direction and no understanding of any of the events that had brought me to such a place of sorrow. But given enough time, all things will mend, heal, and grow. As my heart heals, I feel as if I've become lighter. A huge burden seems to be slowly lifting from me and I'm experiencing joy, happiness, and fulfillment again.
I call it torture, you call it life.
I'm in the process of trying to radically redefine my understanding and approach towards sex. And no, this doesn't mean that I'm reading the Karma Sutra or making names for new positions that no human on this planet could possibly contort themselves into. Trust me, I have a very clear and focused and expanded perception of the ACT of sex. What I'm talking about is how my mind and my heart approach the sexual side of myself and the sexual aspect of people I am attracted to. In my mid-twenties, I chose to be single for four years after a particularly
I live in a city full of hate. I’ve been living in New York City for the past five years and that sentence can pretty much be applied to this city at any given moment, but ever since the World Trade Centers got blown away, this city is full of H-A-T-E. Big, capital, glowing neon letters. You can almost see the word tattooed on everyone’s foreheads. This is a city full of hate, filled to the brim with manic patriotism, and swept up in a tidal wave of religious fervor. I ride my bike to work, and every other house has an Ameri
I looked at Tony and said "Sometimes, the person with the greatest strengths can also have the greatest weaknesses." and as the words came out of my mouth, I realized I'd had a flashing moment of personal brilliance. I don't think that Tony particularly noticed my shining, brilliant moment, but that's okay. My personal epiphany wasn't meant to inspire revolutionary thoughts inside of him. He and I were simply sitting on my stoop on a beautifully mild morning getting to know each other. Talking about relationships, about sex, about a
I wasn't hitting my head into the kitchen wall hard enough to do any serious brain damage, but hard and loud enough to draw the attention of my Mother who came walking in and stopped me before I did cause some trauma to my forehead and my brain that was getting rudely knocked around in my skull. I had just gotten off the phone with my boss at the local Valley Card And Gift, the store I was working at in the local mall. I had asked for a particular weekend off from work and my boss hadn't been able to find anyone to cover for me. Even though I was a